Do you struggle with how to overcome anger? Is there an issue that is going on in your life that has you filled with frustration and annoyance? Is there someone who has “pushed your buttons” and left you highly irritated with them? Are there circumstances beyond your control, consuming all your time and energy and leaving you short-tempered, overwhelmed, and exasperated?
Do you know of anyone who has never been angry? Anger is a real emotion, felt by everyone, yet people avoid talking about it. Christian and non-Christian alike, it doesn’t matter, things happen that make us angry and we have to deal with it. Sometimes getting over anger is a difficult task.
Two Sides to Anger
There are actually two sides to anger—a “righteous” anger and a “sinful” anger. Simply put, righteous anger is motivated by our love for God and is an anger towards anything that violates His godly standards.
Sinful anger is selfish and actually alienates us from God. We get wrapped up in self-pity and the injustice towards ourselves, and do not see the injustice towards God and His Kingdom. Sinful anger does not produce fruits of the Spirit; it produces the opposite—hate, discord, impatience, meanness and lack of faith to name a few. We lose our desire to live a Christ-centered life; and prayer and Bible reading are put at the bottom of our priority list, if they are on our to do list at all.
22But the Holy Spirit produces this kind of fruit in our lives: love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, 23 gentleness and self-control. Galatians 5:22 (NLT)
There is scripture that addresses righteous anger; many more verses address the reality and destructiveness of sinful anger.
We all deal with anger, but some people handle it better than others. For some of us it explodes quickly and violently, encompassing all our rational thought. For others it starts out small, slowly eats at us, then makes us miserable and unproductive until it finally takes control of our thoughts and actions.
We can find ourselves so angry and hurt that we hit a roadblock in our spiritual life and Christian walk. To make it through that roadblock to the other side will take prayer and action on our part. Thankfully, the Bible is full of scripture that addresses what we can do to overcome anger and keep it from destroying our spiritual walk, personal relationships, and self-control.
7 Steps on How to Overcome Anger in a Biblical Manner
1. Pray.
Invite God into your struggle. Tell Him what you’re feeling. Ask Him for wisdom and discernment in your situation. Confess that you are having a difficult time trying to overcome your anger. Repent. Open up the lines of communication with Him and don’t let Satan steal your peace.
And do not give the devil an opportunity [to lead you into sin by holding a grudge, or nurturing anger, or harboring resentment, or cultivating bitterness]. Ephesians 4:27 (AMP)
2. Continue praying.
Surrender your anger to God. Figure out what you are angry about. Are you angry at a situation? Are you angry at a person? Are you (dare I say it?) angry with God? Figure out if it is righteous anger you can do something about or is it sinful anger that is seeping into your heart and destroying your Spirit. Do not let it “lodge in your heart.”
Be not quick in your spirit to become angry, for anger lodges in the heart of fools. Ecclesiastes 7:9 ESV
3. Pray some more.
Pray for the person or situation you are angry against. Pray for compassion, understanding, and guidance as you work to overcome your anger.
Therefore, as God’s chosen people, holy and dearly loved, clothe yourselves with compassion, kindness, humility, gentleness, and patience. Colossians 3:12 (NIV)
4. Do not judge.
Jesus’ instructions regarding judging others is very simple: “don’t.” We are not all-powerful and all-knowing. Only God knows everything and He, alone, can judge fairly.
“Do not judge, or you too will be judged. Matthew 7:1 (NIV)
Believers, do not speak against or slander one another. He who speaks [self-righteously] against a brother or judges his brother [hypocritically], speaks against the Law and judges the Law. If you judge the Law, you are not a doer of the Law but a judge of it. James 4:11 (AMP)
5. Forgive as you have been forgiven.
No one is perfect; only Jesus lived a perfect life because He is God’s Son. He died for all. If you have accepted Him as your Savior and Lord, you have been forgiven even though there is nothing you can do to earn it and you don’t deserve it. Others have received this same awesome gift.
Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. Colossians 3:13 (NIV)
6. Guard against the “addiction” of anger.
Let’s face it. Anger can feel good which can make it addictive. We can begin to feel justified and superior in our anger. Don’t let that happen. “Take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ.” Focus on living a life that honors Him. Use your Bible for guidance. Pray. Seek counsel from other Christians when appropriate and possible—they can offer Biblical advice and prayer support; however, do not add to your sin of anger by breaking a confidence or spreading hurtful gossip.
We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. 2 Corinthians 10:5 (NIV)
7. Trust God.
Remember God is in control and He will work everything out to His good. We may not understand how something good can come out of something that seems bad, but He does. Have faith.
Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. Proverbs 3:5 (ESV)
And we know that God causes everything to work together for the good of those who love God and are called according to his purpose for them. Romans 8:28 NLT
Closing
Hopefully, these suggestions will give you ideas on how to overcome anger. Remember–do not let anger control you. Let it go. Do not let it move into your heart and take root, stealing your joy and usefulness for God. It may not be easy, but you can overcome your anger with God’s help.
After all, shouldn’t our greatest desire be to live a life that is pleasing and honoring to Him?
Human anger does not produce the righteousness God desires. James 1:20 NLT
Prayer
Heavenly Father,
When I am angry and hurt, I will turn to you. I ask that you wash away the anger and bitterness I am harboring in my heart and strengthen my spirit with your presence. Help me to not be judgmental and self-centered, intent on seeking my own desires above the needs of others. I pray that I would not retaliate against those that treat me unfairly, hurt my pride, or criticize unjustly.
When my anger is because of my own selfishness, help me to see it for the sinful act that it is. Give me a compassionate and forgiving heart towards those that are the object of my anger, reminding me that it is no less than you have offered to me when I have sinned against you.
When my anger is motivated by the things that go against your goodness and righteousness, please show me what I can do to make the situation better and allow Your holiness to shine through. Please help me stand up to Satan when he tries to drown me in despondency by showing me the evilness of this world.
I love you and praise you for being Almighty God, the Ruler of Heaven and Earth.
In Jesus’ name I pray,
Amen
Resources:
Amplified Bible (AMP) Copyright © 2015 by The Lockman Foundation, La Habra, CA 90631. All rights reserved.
New International Version (NIV) Holy Bible, New International Version®, NIV® Copyright ©1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.® Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide.
New Living Translation (NLT) Holy Bible, New Living Translation, copyright © 1996, 2004, 2015 by Tyndale House Foundation. Used by permission of Tyndale House Publishers, Inc., Carol Stream, Illinois 60188. All rights reserved.
6/21/19 Revised 5/23/22
